No not that F word… another one, equally as dangerous… scarier even…. Failure. I had a realization today talking to another artist that for essentially a long time I felt like I had failed because I wasn’t doing what I went to school for. That it took me a long time to start doing something anything because I was trapped in the mindset I had to do what I was trained for in school.
A Piece from my grad show. Porcelain paper clay Nests.
My art making days ended pretty much the day I graduated, I tried to pick it up here and there but they were FAILED attempts adding to my ever growing definition of failure. It also seemed that I had missed the point of art school because what was the point if I couldn’t do art.
I had missed the point of school (this goes for most secondary institutions), creative thinking, problem solving, working through obstacles, thinking outside the box. To be an artist or a scientist (shout out to my husband) you have to be flexible… Solutions are rarely obvious, life is not a sitcom.
And the obvious was to start doing something, baby steps, one thing one day and build onto that the next. Honestly it took me a longtime to figure that out. If I wasn’t doing Art with a capital A, then I wasn’t an artist. What I didn’t see was not doing anything meant that I wasn’t an artist either.
I am calling myself an artist, a mother and a maker again, sometimes you have to fail so that you try again. I have my little Etsy shop and though it is not a raging success (cough cough, take a boo – yes shameless self promotion) it is something. I have my kids who are growing and learning everyday, my home even if it is a big fat mess half the time, is lived in and that means I am not failing.
To round up this post is a list of Friday Fives for February.
- Cook 5 vegan meals from the cookbook Vegan Eats World(I’m not a vegan, just want to try something new).
- Make 100 Scrappy Carp (more on these guys later).
- Visit the Beach (yes I live next to the ocean but you would be amazed at how little I/we visit the beach).
- Add dates to my wishes so that they become goals and break those goals down into doable pieces…
- Find 5 pieces of work I have done in the last year and update my portfolio.
Failure is a big word and one we sometimes use in the absence of obvious success, how do you define either failure or success?