Silence & Rememberance

This is my blog so I get to say this- through my tears & my tiredness, I have to say this.

I have been quiet of late, doing little promotion, not talking myself up a whole lot and when I do it is a distraction… Something that I feel that I should do to avoid the hurt.

My father died, I was very close to him. I have been sad but not quite able to mourn.

I feel like I should be able to call him up and ask him “how do I bait a crab trap, bait a fishing hook or cook potatoes over open flame?”. I have a new house I just moved into in the middle of all of this, I need help with pipes, painting and ants… My check engine light is on!! All the things, all the closeness that has been built by a daughter, son in law and grandchildren I feel like are gone… My kids ask about him frequently (daily in fact). We lived with him, on pobpa’s island, remembering that not just once but twice he drove our worldly possessions (except for the one’s he kept safe for us for us at his house- ok ‘a lot’ safe for us) across the countries of US and Canada, coast to coast. He gave me advice when I didn’t want it and kept his mouth shut and just took care of things, me, my kids ( again when I didn’t want it – he should have kicked me in the ass). He helped us pick out our forever home, encouraged my husband in in gamble on his new job- just to know we would be close again. .. Made plans for it, for us (don’t worry, we’ll find a way to redo the roof)…

And now he is never coming back

Well here is what I say to those that hang on and try to pick up the scraps when someone as wonderful as him dies…Let him go in peace, leave us in peace, this is not about you, get over your guilt, he cared and loved for you no less, love him and get on with your life. Support his legacy, remember him and mourn him as a maker a mechanic, a cook, a mischief maker, a support and a friend. There is a time for respect, respect him and his wishes, there is a process and we just have to go gently with it, not forcing it. He has no more to give to us, let us give & give back to him and do right by what he wanted.

My daddy’s memory deserves so much more… he was truly one of the best men I ever knew.

For family, friends and well wishers, his love ones are holding an informal memorial for him on Pender Aug 6th 2012… Details to still be announced- it is very informal.

I know many have already expressed desire to be there but are afraid they can’t because of the long weekend or other engagements. We wanted to remember him in his home. Initially it was suggested that we do it at the end of July or the beginning of August, and because of unnecessary delays in wrapping up a few of the loose ends & extended families travel, we had to choose the first weekend of August. At the time we forgot that it was a long weekend. We are hoping that all that want to come, can and will. We know how much of nightmare BC ferries can be, but I have also found them to be compassionate.

If you would like more details you may of course email me directly.

Good night… This felt good and I am glad to get this off of my chest and out into the world.

With love, Megan


2 thoughts on “Silence & Rememberance

  1. megan, you express so many of the things i felt when my dad died, and you know the kind of man he was, like your dad in many ways. i’m sorry for your loss, and grateful for your beautiful words in expressing it. the ache you feel every time you reach for the phone or make a mental note to tell dad about something does soften and change in time. it morphs from the pain of all you have lost into a warm memory of all that you have had. it takes time. we love you.

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