I am starting My Studio because I am starting a new adventure. I am moving across country to a new home, my children are going to school for the first time (full day Kindergarten) and I want to reinvent myself. I have been a stay at home mother for the last 5 years to twins trapped in homes (several) that were much too small for our growing family and consumed by motherhood (I even started wearing jeans) and domestic responsibilities (but I look cute in an apron).
Wait I interrupt my “this is who I am” monolouge to share with you a story I wrote almost two years ago,
“Space is a very serious issue for me. I am desperately always trying to find it. Like the white rabbit it constantly eludes me. Sometimes I think if I drink this it might appear or eat that my space may grow. All it ever does is shrink just like my jeans from drinking and eating too much. I thought as my children got older I would get more of myself back. I am not so sure that is true anymore, it seems like all it ever does is change.
I actually broke down and cried on the floor after I found a puddle of pee. It wasn’t the puddle of pee as much as it was the location. I had just finished building a desk (don’t think from scratch as much as I would love that, I relay on IKEA for my building expertise), to use as my drawing table and my sewing table (said desk measures nearly two feet by a scant foot and a half) and I was about to put a recycled ottoman (from my living room) under it as my chair when I stepped in the warm liquid puddle.
Erste while my son naked from the waist down has suctioned cupped a mug to his face and my daughter is re-building my desk.
This may sound funny, re-reading it makes me a laugh just a little bit, but I assure you at the time I was not laughing. I was incoherently sobbing and blabbering. I have come to point where all I want is me time and my space. Don’t get me wrong I loved my last weekend “Me”gan time, and I totally needed a girls night out. But what I really want is to have space at home and be productive… I spent four years in school getting my Bachelors in Fine Art only to go from class to bedrest (3 months in the hospital) to full time mummyhood (3 full years and counting). I would like to get my MFA some day, but to do that I need space, to work, read, reflect, and to breathe. I don’t know what to do anymore to achieve these goals. Everyday that I don’t do something is another day I am not getting any closer to my goals and in fact feels like I am getting further from them.”
This is Funnier because not 15 mins ago I was cleaning up another “accident”, wtf?! they are 5 now, this is not suppose to happen anymore.
Anyway Back to My Studio.
In my new home, I will have a studio, not just a corner in a room in my house, but an actual real physical studio. A place that I can call mine. I invite you into my studio to see what I am making….and maybe we can laugh about some of those funny stories.